I have found peace in practicing meditation. I have been in recovery for 8 years and the 11th step of my program says that "We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God..." So, I am encouraged to pray and meditate daily. I have meditated regularly many times in my life and there are certain types of meditation that I like. I like Chakra meditations especially.
The Loving-Kindness and the Subtle Mind downloads were equally beneficial. The Loving-Kindness one actually helped me to send love and healing light to a friend of mine that is struggling with addiction. At times, I have been angry at her and hurt that she has chose to relapse, however this meditation has helped me to send her light and love. The subtle mind download was especially beneficial to me because I have been on a rampage with my boyfriend the past 48 hours. I was consciously aware that I was attacking, aggressive and over-exaggerating. However, I couldn't stop myself. I had internal dialogue that said, "This is fruitless - just surrender and stop being so mean." I also took a look at my thoughts and got to the exact nature of my emotions which was fear that was disguised as anger. Once I was able to get to that point, I was able to breath and let go. During the raging dialogue that I was so engaged in I did take moments to breath and paid close attention to my breath and was able to use the techniques that I learned in the downloads to gain conscious control of myself and my thoughts. I have listed to them both again today and they have helped me to want to be positive, communicate effectively and eliminate stress.
Shertina
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ReplyDeleteFighting against an addition is one of the hardest things a person will ever have to witness! To be able to demonstrate a bit of loving kindness in a time like, this to a person going through sometime like that shows that you must be an awesome person.
ReplyDeleteAs far as you and your boyfriend go i can completely empathize with you I have those same experiences with my husband. Where I just will not accept the fact that I am not right and maybe he is. -And that there is really no need for the disagreement to continue but in the moment it is just to hard to back down!! Don't feel too badly about it. Here is something a former pastor of mine use to tell me "don't let the sun go down on your wrath, you never know who might not open their eyes in the morning", this way even if I didn't like it I forced myself as did he to apologize before bed!